Lingerie Football League Australia


The Lingerie Football League of Australia. Or, as I like to call it, “the car crash produced when post-feminism crashes into sporting fanatics”, aka “The Glorification of the Female Body AND the Divine Act of Competitive Sport – all conveniently wrapped up with an Objectification Ribbon”.

What IS the Lingerie Football League (or the LFL)? It is women playing sport in their underwear. But, of course, it’s ‘lingerie’ – to give it that classy, exotic edge. It is, according to Wikipedia, a “women’s 7-on-7 tackle American Football League, created in 2009″. It was created in America. Of course. Duh.

It looks a little like this:

Some idiot in America clearly had the ‘brain wave’ that in order to entice men to watch women’s sport, they needed to put the women in underwear. Because this is obviously the only way to get MEN to watch WOMEN doing something other than giving oral sex (because, let’s face it, dudes will watch THAT all day*).

I have several problems with the LFL, which I shall now lay out for you in full, glorious detail:

- How does this sport actually benefit women?

Other women are playing sport (yes, gosh darn, real SPORT) and they do not do it in their underwear, last time I checked. Sure, various people have TRIED to put them in their underwear (see this great article on Olympic uniforms for Australian sportswomen) but the women have, for the most part, got their way. So how does the LFL ACTUALLY BENEFIT benefit professional sportswomen? By providing an opportunity for women to play sport? But wait, don’t they already have that?

Yes. Yes, they do.

- Does this actually harm women?

I’m going to go out on a limb here and say yes – yes, it goddamn motherf****** well does. And if you think otherwise you need to reestablish what you actually define as sexism.

How does it harm women? BECAUSE WOMEN ARE PLAYING IN THEIR UNDERWEAR. BECAUSE IT IS OBJECTIFICATION AND SEXISM AND AN AWFUL AWFUL AWFUL EXAMPLE OF POST FEMINISM AND LOOK I JUST LOST MY TEMPER EXCUSE ME.

Ahem.

Does this sport not simply invite rampant sexism and objectification? If you took these sportswomen seriously, you would not be watching them play sport IN THEIR UNDERWEAR. If you took female sport as a whole seriously, you would not be watching this – you would be watching actual sport, on another channel. You would be watching women playing American football IN THEIR CLOTHES. The main attraction of this sporting ‘event’ IS THE LACK OF CLOTHES. It is not called the ‘Women’s Football League’. It is called the ‘LINGERIE Football League’. Because it is all about the LINGERIE, and the breasts, and the butts. It is about seeing breasts and butts IN ACTION, all from the comfort of your own couch.

And how does this harm women? Sportswomen – real, honest to god sportswomen – are losing air time, and exposure (pardon the pun), and potential sponsors to this steaming pile of horse manure. Sportswomen already have to battle day to day crap about how they are just ‘naturally worse at sport than men’ – they do not need to also be told that the only way they will make it in the world is if they strip down to their lingerie and THEN try to attempt a high jump, or play a game of basketball, or shoot a bow and arrow.**

I am not calling the women who participate in this sport ‘unathletic’, or less of an athlete than other women. I just think they should be able to play this sport without having to prance around in their lingerie.

- Are the men doing it?

I shall now apply the Caitlin Moran Rule of Feminism, aka the question ‘Are the men doing it?’. This is Moran’s rule of thumb with a few things, and it is aptly applied here. ‘Are the men dressing up (or down) in teeny tiny underwear, and then running around a football field?’.

No. No, the men aren’t. Instead, they are gawping on the sidelines, having the time of their lives (okay, fine, not all men. Some men).

The men are NOT parading around in their itsy-bitsy teeny-weeny bikinis because they are the serious athletes, the ones who get paid the BIG BUCKS to play in MAJOR EVENTS. Meanwhile, these women have to pay for their own goddamn health insurance just to play in this ‘league’ (yes, I looked that up).

The final part of this entire affair that simultaneously amuses and sickens me? The denial by the founder of the LFL that the sport is nothing more than a “sick, degrading perv”.

I mean, for god’s sake. You called it the ‘Lingerie Football League’, not the ‘Women’s Football League’. To repeat: the LINGERIE FOOTBALL LEAGUE. Why not just call it “Tits and Ass Football League’ and be done with it, for god’s sake?

The final thing I am going to say on this matter? Why don’t we simply put the chairman and founder of the LFL, one Mitchell S. Mortaza, in some leather underwear, and then send him out onto a football field? I promise I’ll be on the opposing team, fully clothed and ready to take him down.

Just imagine how Mitchell S. Mortaza would look in some frilly lingerie:

I bet he’d look good in red.

*Clearly, sarcasm.

*And yes, I realise that many sportswomen’s outfits are this revealing. Sometimes it is by choice, sometimes it is not. The difference here is that they do NOT bill themselves as participating in the Lingerie Football League. They are serious athletes, and they are there to compete.

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16 thoughts on “Lingerie Football League Australia

  1. You are certainly not alone, there is a petition to stop the LFL from forming teams here next year. The first promo match is tomorrow in Brisbane, followed by one in Sydney, we obviously can’t stop that, but we can stop them from bringing the LFL here next year. They claim they have nearly sold out, yet i’ve heard it’s barely selling which is basically confirmed by the last minute offer of 2 tickets for the price of one. So hopefully it will flop on it’s own.
    However please add your voice to the petition to stop the LFL from coming to Australia, you can find the link for the petition at http://www.collectiveshout.org and through my blog.
    Please sign and tell everyone you know, we already have over 3000 signatures in a few weeks with emails being sent to all hosts, sponsors and promoters everytime someone new signs.
    Lets tell Mortaza and those who support it that Australia does not want this sexploitation here. America can keep it. Lily

  2. LFL did sell out in Brisbane. I was surprised at that.

    They also had massive turnout at the Brisbane tryouts. Like 80 Girls showed up. They filled that teams roster in 1 night. That NEVER happens in the US. It usually takes 3-5 tryouts to fill a roster.

    Curious to see what happens in Sydney. That Arena holds 20,000. Brisbane was only like 9000 or so.
    And to see how many girls show up for tryouts for the Sydney Team.

      • I know some of the players. One of them real well. She emails me when she has a chance when on the road. She doesn’t Tweet or FB anymore. Mitch might see it, and that would be bad news. HAHAH. Mitch is a dictator. But he is good at what he does. Obviously.

        She is having trouble getting WiFi in OZ though. Its obviously not as common there as it it here. So I’m only getting a report every few days or so.

        So, ill know Sydney approx attendance and tryout numbers pretty soon. Tryouts are the 7th.

        The important number is the number of tickets they sell for the “Private Party on the field” after the game. Where you can get players autographs/pictures/hugs/whatever you can get away with, after the game.

        Those tickets are big bucks, and they sold over 1000 of them at Brisbane. That is just massive number. Probably paid for the entire trip all by itself. I have never seen more then 100-200 in all the games I went to. 1000+ is out of this world.

        She said her cheeks hurt from smiling so damn much. Not to mention her hands from writing. LOL. Ah, the problems of being an international sports star.

        • She’s from the States, then? I didn’t realise that they brought some players out here for the games, but that makes sense.

          I’d love to talk to her at some stage (anonymously, if that helps). I’d be interested to chat to a player about her perspective on the sport, and how she feels about any potential exploitation/objectification that may going on.

          I wish I was in Sydney, I’d be inclined to go to the trials just out of interest!

          • All the Players except 1 are from the US. They are the All-Stars from the US-Canadian leagues.. Choe Butler is the One Aussie Playing. She is #7 on the “West”. The “Pink” Uniforms.

            Players from Canada are eligible for the teams, But none of them made it. Canada is lagging behind the US in development of players.

            As far as exploitation/objectification goes. Well, she is one of the original Models from 2009 when the league began. Ill ask but I’m sure her interest is absolute 0. Fact is Models/LFL Players have very little interest in talking to anyone that doesn’t support the LFL for obvious reasons. And she sure as hell isn’t going to say anything that would hurt the league. Why would she? She is using the LFL for all its worth.

            But, Id say go to trials. The LFL is as real as real gets. Thats for damn sure. There should be players there to talk to. Hell, you can even talk to Mitch himself. He never walks away from an interview.

            Looks like the OZ league is starting In late December. Brisbane, Sydney, Melbourne, and one other I cant remember. They Always Launch 4 teams in a new country, and go from there.

            Brisbane Roster already full.
            Sydney tryouts the 7th. And the rest of the teams to be announced.

            BTW, how are you connected to Jim Stews. He is an LFL blogger, and that’s how I got here. I followed his tweets. You dont seem to be the type to follow an LFL blogger. I’m just curious that’s all.

        • (I’m just replying to your later comment, as for some reason WordPress won’t let me reply directly):

          That’s fine if she doesn’t want to chat – particularly because they’re obviously her employers (I wouldn’t be inclined to speak out against my employers!). I’m more curious about whether her (or any other players, for that matter) have any doubts about how beneficial the LFL is to them, and to other women. Not in a rampant, crazy way – I’m more interested about whether they tried other sports first.

          I didn’t realise I was connected to Jim Stews – did he tweet something that linked to this blog? I follow all sorts of people, but yes, didn’t realise that’s how you found my blog!

          • yadtw, fwiw I came across this from google images.

            If I was a LFL staff member, I’d tweet to your post. ‘All publicity is…’ and all that. Plus you chose to include all the colourful t-and-a photos that sell the sport anyway ;)

            If going to see campy burlesque Mexican wrestling in St Kilda the other month was any indication, there’d be a lot of bucks nights in attendance, and lot of couples and groups of friends of guys and girls there for some pretty harmless titillation accompanied by what’s probably some pretty impressive action and drama to see ‘in the flesh’.

            Don’t forget once upon a time men used to do this kind of thing naked.

            I’m not going to go out of my to support it, but you know it’s all a novelty one off thing. There’s no way they could sustain a proper competition where people would turn up every week. It’s just a show on tour.

            As such, it has a pretty tenuous connection with professional women’s sport.

  3. Well, I’m back. Looks like they almost sold out Sydney. Unbelievable. I’m hearing almost 20,000 tickets sold, including 2000 of the big ticket “Field party” ones. Man, I’m surprised.

    HOWEVER, there is a slight problem. The players DID complain about some of the crowd acting pretty badly. That WILL be an issue is it keeps up. I’m wondering if this fact hit the OZ press. I cant tell from here.

    OZ fans are pretty rowdy in big numbers it seems. They might go with the smaller arenas like Brisbane. 9,000 is far more controllable then 20,000.

    And this is the FIRST time the LFL had a problem. It will be interesting to see how they handle it.

    But all in all, OZ a huge success. Vastly exceeding expectations. Hell they also filled the Sydney team roster in 1 tryout. Again. 2 tryouts, 2 teams filled. That NEVER happens in the US.

    I didn’t ask her about your question, she was pretty pissed off, she got a little roughed up by “Drunk Assh*ole” fans. So I just let it go. She didn’t say what happened, but it was a little more then a tap on the butt.. Security and quite a few players were involved. Ugly scene it seems.

    She will be home the 11th. Give it a day or two, and Ill run it by her.

    But no promises. I’m almost certain she will blow you off. LFL players are pretty hot headed.

  4. people like you are funny, spending your time being a neysayer really, do you get extra blowjobs for all your hard work for femenism, or do your female friends give you big hug and say “thanks for trying” .ps.female sports do need to try harder for viewers and sponsers.fact. would you spend your money on a wnba game or watch the god like talents of dwight howard, mj, kobe, other sports vick nfl, fast bowlers in cricket or baseball. do women even play ice hockey. tennis not bad, even then they play two less sets and the men just plain hit the ball harder. but i do agree bout the lfl, but only because i would rather watch the steroid munchers in the nfl give each other brain damage, and get my fix of lingerie off internet porn. have a nice day. oh pps the first female dunk at the olympics this year, yay, by one of the tallest to play in the wnba at six foot nine. so either men are naturally better at anything physical, or we’ve must have been working harder to be better at them since the dawn of mankind.

    • Hello, self-admitted douche.

      Allow me to address your comments in order of appearance:

      - No, I don’t get any extra blowjobs for my hard work for feminism (it’s ‘feminism’, not ‘femenism’, by the way. It’s usually best to be capable of correctly spelling the movement you’re insulting). But I’ll be sure to let my boyfriend know that this is expected.

      - Do my female friends give me a big hug and say “thanks for trying”? No. I think you’ve actually mistaken me for a male, when I’m a female. I don’t know whether to be pleased or insulted by this, but I’ll just take it as a further indicator of your stupidity.

      - “would you spend your money on a wnba game or watch the god like talents of dwight howard, mj, kobe, other sports vick nfl, fast bowlers in cricket or baseball. do women even play ice hockey.”
      In answer to this, I’d prefer to see an even mixture of female *and* male sports on TV – who says Lauren Jackson isn’t a goddess on the basketball court? Also, do women even have ice hockey: http://www.awihl.com.au/ Your powers of internet sleuthing are non existent, my idiotic friend.

      - “oh pps the first female dunk at the olympics this year, yay, by one of the tallest to play in the wnba at six foot nine. so either men are naturally better at anything physical, or we’ve must have been working harder to be better at them since the dawn of mankind.”
      Well, gee. I bow down to your superior manly prowess. Just let me go and fix you something from the kitchen, honnnnney.

      No. Listen here, douche canoe. If you personally think you can slam dunk something, then good on you. Otherwise, I’d be quite happy to leave you to the likes of Liz Cambage and Lauren Jackson, because my bet is you rarely lift your arse off your couch except to go to your computer and leave unenlightened comments such as this. You sound like more of a sports watcher than a sports doer, and as such, you personally have not been “working hard to be better than women since the dawn of time”. You’ve been working hard to imprint your butt on a couch cushion.
      If you do actually exercise, nice work. But there’s this thing called biology that means that men are sometimes better at some sports than women. You can see some results here: http://www.vaughns-1-pagers.com/sports/track-records-men-vs-women.htm It doesn’t mean that men work harder, it means it’s the luck of the draw.

      If I gave out awards for “most blindingly idiotic comment on the month”, you would be a shoe in, my friend.

    • 1973.
      Tennis match.
      Bobby Riggs vs Billie Jean King.
      King won, straight sets (6–4, 6–3, 6–3).
      Are men still naturally better at anything physical?

    • Hi Sherrell,

      Thanks for your comment – however, I was a little confused about the “mad it’s not you!” comment. Did you mean, I’m mad that’s it is not me flouncing about – sorry, ‘playing sport’ – in my lingerie? Or are you personally mad that it’s not me out there?

      If it was the former, I’m going to point out that I wouldn’t spend an article critiquing an entire ‘sport’ simply because I was mad I “couldn’t play”. Did you read the paragraphs on objectification, or did you skip over that simply to have a crack at me?

      If it was the latter, and you are mad I’m not out there – well, again, sorry.

      And as for letting people enjoy themselves however they choose; again, did you not read the sections on objectification and women’s sport? There are ways to have fun that don’t reinforce sexism. So don’t tell me not to hate, and just let people enjoy themselves – because the point here is that this “enjoyment” reinforces the image of women as nothing more sexy objects. Read up on the ideas behind raunch culture, and then get back to me.

  5. “People in the Middle East are pretty easy going about nudity”‘. Lastly, when you take a moment and do a self-inventory you might be surprised to find that there are some things about yourself you want to change. Workers also are forced to work overtime though they receive no extra benefits and most pay for housing and food from their paychecks.

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