I’m in favour of women also proposing marriage. There, I said it. And you wouldn’t think that in society, in this day and age, that it would be a huge deal. But it isn’t seen as the ‘norm’, so it is.
I find that the main problem with a man proposing marriage is that a woman has to wait. And wait, and wait, and wait. It is the man’s decision about when he will traditionally ‘settle down’.
And then there’s the concept of ‘stealing his thunder’. Which is strange, but I can understand. If you have been fed the same stories, the same types of gender norms your entire life, it’s strange to suddenly have it switched around on you. I mean, how often in popular culture do we see examples of women proposing to men?
The finest example I could think of was Miranda, from Sex and the City:
Short, sharp, and sweet. But Miranda has never been much of a romantic – and what if you are, and you do want to propose to your boyfriend?
I say, go for it. I have no advice to give on the hows and wheres – for more advice on that, you should look here. There are a myriad of other internet posts concerning this exact topic – and the main concern appears to be one of questioning the male ‘domain’, and of the man feeling threatened by such a bold woman. And to this, I mostly say “What?”. I mean, who did they *think* they were dating this entire time? Trust me, if I ever decide to propose to a future boyfriend, he won’t be surprised. Instead, he’ll recognise that my feminist values have led me to a place where I feel comfortable with proposing to him (and also, that I’d really like to marry him!). It’s a sign of a mature, equal relationship where both partners feel comfortable enough that either of them can propose. I really dislike this idea of desperately “waiting” for the guy to propose – if you really are meant to be together, then why shouldn’t the woman propose?
The point I’m making here is that everyone is different. And every marriage proposal is different. And it shouldn’t necessarily be expected that a man will be the one getting down on one knee.